Episode 164

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Published on:

26th Jan 2026

We Blame Guns But Is Fatherlessness Driving America’s Violence?

85% of inmates grew up without fathers. Jerremy Alexander Newsome and Dave Conley sit down with Josiah Graves to unpack how absent dads fuel violence. It’s not just guns – it’s heart issues in young men driving crime, poverty, and hate. They hit faith, family decline, and why open dialogue plus real accountability actually move the needle. Timestamps:

  1. (00:00) 85% of inmates fatherless – that’s the real core issue, not firearms
  2. (01:08) Human heart drives violence – guns are secondary to absent fathers
  3. (05:00) Faith shapes moral view on guns – beliefs matter more than policy
  4. (11:10) Traditional family collapse – direct cause of poverty, hate, crime
  5. (13:37) Open dialogue requires accountability – leadership fixes root problems

Connect:

Josiah Graves – Dads Ranch

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Transcript
Alex:

Policy stalls hard — so Jerremy ties violence straight to absent fathers.

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Crime follows the empty chair...

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while Dave presses on peacemakers.

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How does religion and guns fit together?

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Jerremy: Because what you

said earlier, fatherlessness.

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85% of individuals in prison are because

they do not have a dad in the household.

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That's the highest statistic that

we currently have, where it's like

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if you go to prison, it is probably

because you did not have a dad.

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Doesn't matter your race it generally

doesn't matter how much money you make.

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Did you have a dad?

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No, that's right.

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You're probably gonna go to jail.

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You're probably gonna go

to prison, most likely.

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Mm-hmm.

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And then both of you have also mentioned

this word that you are teaching, right?

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You're teaching your kids, you're

teaching people around you, you are having

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conversations, and you are educating

individuals on certain powerful topics.

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One thing that I definitely believe is

there is going to be a root problem.

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And that root problem doesn't

directly absolutely focus around guns.

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In fact, both Dave and myself, when we

started creating this topic, we're like,

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all right, man, let's talk gun control.

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And then really what it came down

to is like, all right, both me

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and Dave are super pro human.

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We're not really pro guns

or, con guns we're pro human.

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And it, it's like, it's the

human issue somewhere in here

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that's really the problem.

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Josiah: Mm-hmm.

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Jerremy: As you have mentioned,

Josiah and Richie also, like there,

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it's, the problem is you cannot

legislate evil out of the world.

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Can you decrease evil or can you decrease

frustration, anger, animosity, violence,

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which also can all stem from poverty?

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And I think ultimately my answer is, it

is possible to do that more than directly

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impact the negativity that guns create.

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Josiah: Yeah.

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Agreed.

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I totally agree.

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And the, I'm glad you said what you

said about, you know, the fatherless

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statistic and prison, right?

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And the first thing that came to

my mind was not just violence.

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how much violence would that, prevent, but

also what would that do for the economy?

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What if all of those people

were contributing productive

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members of society?

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Instead of in prison for

mistakes that they had made.

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Imagine that for a second.

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What would that do for us economically?

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What would that do for those

lower income communities?

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It might help them ratchet up a lot.

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Rising tide raises all ships.

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I think that would have way more positive

impacts than just reducing violence.

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I think it definitely would reduce

violence, but I think there would be a lot

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of other really incredible side effects if

we got to really the root of that issue.

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Jerremy: Yeah, man, I get it.

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I totally understand like that.

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But that's what's beautiful.

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And Dave and I are always smiling because

ultimately every single discussion that

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we have always comes back to that at

some point, is how do we make the heart

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of men, because the panel of US four are

the most dangerous creatures on earth.

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Uh, well, maybe not on earth,

but definitely in America.

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Like you guys mentioned serial killers.

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. Like 95%, 90% of serial

killers are white men, right?

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Mass school shootings, mostly white men.

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People that have murdered

extremely famous.

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Political figures or historical

figures, mostly white men.

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And there's a long, long list.

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But the general topic is it is men, right?

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And men are gonna control

and do most of the damage.

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And so ultimately, if, when we talk about

homelessness, when we talk about prison

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reform, when we've discussed guns, when

we've discussed financial freedom, when

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we've discussed the changes that we

need to make in this country in relation

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to education, it almost always comes

down to the heart of most young men

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and most countries is filled with anger

and frustration and annoyance and hate.

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And that at some point ultimately spills

over into this unproductive core group

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of a society that causes and creates

rape, that creates fatherless homes, that

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creates a population of other boys and

girls that are not loved, that are not

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looked out for, that are not cared for.

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And at some stage, the educational

component of this country has

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to come up and say, why are all

the people that continually have

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97% of the impact negatively?

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How do we change that

from a core systemic way?

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Because we're always trying to pick

apart the small little things that.

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End up being part of the

formula, but we never start

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with the actual formula, right?

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We try to start with the equal sign, we

always go to that side of the formula

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versus the beginning part of the formula.

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Josiah: Right.

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I mean, as you're talking

about that I think it's a very

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important thing to point out.

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And this crossed my mind the other day

as I was preparing for this as well,

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you know what really would solve the

problem a hundred percent is if everybody

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accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

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because someone who has Jesus, is

not going to commit a mass shooting.

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But those same people who want us to

take all the guns away so there are

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no more gun violence, they wouldn't

be okay with us requiring that.

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You see what I'm saying?

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Mm-hmm.

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That really would solve the problem.

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Dave: So I love that you said that.

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And I want, I wanna hear a little bit

more about that because Richie's as you

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both speak about your faith and Jesus

is front and center with your family,

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your fun, your work, you know, and Jesus

commanded Peter to put the sword away.

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Our peacemakers are

called children of God.

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We turn the other cheek.

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The gospels are about

love, even for our enemies.

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What are moral questions, perhaps

for someone who isn't a follower

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that could learn from your journey?

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Do followers of God have to

dig deeper when it comes to the

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morality around faith and firearms?

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Josiah: Man, that is, that is so good.

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One thing immediately comes to

mind, when people quote scripture,

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they take things outta context.

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And not saying that you're, that's

your intention here, but people

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quote that, you know, told Peter

to put the sword away many times.

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Right.

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What was the context of that situation?

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Dave: Jesus was, uh, being dragged off

to the cross and Peter had, uh, sliced

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the ear of, uh, Malachi, I believe.

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And he's like, no, no.

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Put that sword away.

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Uh, that's right.

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He healed the ear and,

uh, that's the context

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' Josiah: cause so Jesus knew that

if he laid waste to that leg of

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Roman soldiers, then what he came

to do was not going to be fulfilled.

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So in the context of that situation,

in that moment, the reason he told

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Peter to put the sword away was

because what needed to happen was he

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needed to be taken by those Romans to

ultimately be crucified for our sins.

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So that's the context of that situation.

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There's also another place

in the Bible where God told

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Saul and the army of Israel.

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To slay every single amalekite and not

even leave any of their animals alive.

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People tend to leave stuff

like that out, right?

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There definitely are situations

where or here you go, leave

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the human element out of it.

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The flood, the human race had gotten so

corrupted and not just corrupted with

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evil, but corrupted genetically, right?

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You had the nephilim the watchers,

having babies with human people, right?

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Literally corrupting God's creation.

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It had gotten so bad that the only

family left on earth that was not

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touched by that corruption was Noah

and his family, and what did God do?

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He wiped the entire earth out.

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He killed everybody else, right?

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So there are situations where

evil absolutely needs to be met.

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With that kind of force, God has

shown us that himself, right?

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Now, he always gives people

a chance to repent, right?

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But if someone smashes in my door in the

middle of the night, we're past that.

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We're past repentance, right?

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'cause now my life and my

family's life is in danger, right?

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You know, I think, you know, as,

as a, as a Christian, as a Bible

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believer, as a Jesus follower, is

it hard to reconcile that for me?

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No, because It is a very clear

line in my situation that I told

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you about at the beginning, I

didn't jump straight into action.

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Jerremy: Mm-hmm.

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Josiah: But I was ready

to, if I needed to.

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Right.

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And the situation deescalated.

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So is that hard to reconcile for us?

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No, because again, that

is a very clear line.

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But if my family, my kids, my wife,

myself, or even someone around me

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that I don't know that I have the

power to help is in the mix, I

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think that's gonna be a very obvious

decision, you know, at that moment.

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And Rich, I'll let you add to that.

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Richie: I don't know that

I can, to be very honest.

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That was very well said.

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It was, um, you know, I operate off of,

treat people how you want to be treated.

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Be a good person, do the right thing.

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And, one of the 10

commandments do not kill.

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I'm not gonna kill anybody unless

it is absolutely necessary.

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I pray that I never

have to pull my pistol.

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Like this is something that I hear a

lot in podcasts and other things you

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hear and see is like, you know, some of

these gun owners, they're just waiting

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to pull their pistol and have to use it.

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I would say those are the fake ones.

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Jerremy: Yeah.

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Richie: Like the 90, probably

majority of most gun owners.

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And you can know this is true because

like military especially like real

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combat veterans don't speak on their like

actual, what they went through a lot.

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A lot of 'em don't,

especially when it was bad.

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And a lot of veterans that I've

spoke to, they don't want to ever

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have to use their firearm again.

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They're not just blood sucking

military guys that are robots trained

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to kill like they killed because

they had to because it was wartime.

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And I look at it from that standpoint

of I hope I never have to use my

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firearm in that capacity ever.

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I don't even want to pull it.

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But I am prepared if I have to

because if I have to get to that

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point, it's protection of myself.

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It is protection of my family

or it is protecting someone

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that cannot protect themselves.

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Hmm.

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Josiah: By the way, if you go back

to the original Hebrew on the 10

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Commandments, it's not, thou shalt

not kill, it's thou shalt not murder.

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Richie: Murder.

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Josiah: There is a difference.

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Richie: Yeah.

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Big difference.

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So, and then something that before I

had to use the restroom, something that

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y'all were talking about was fatherless.

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So 1970, approximately 85%.

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Of children lived with a two

parent household,:

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And I didn't drill down demographics.

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I just, just straight United States.

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Just quick Google search.

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And I think that has a lot to do with it.

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And I think it's media based on some, like

we are tearing down the family household.

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And I think that is a lot of

problems, not just firearm related.

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I just overall, I think there is a

ton of issues that the traditional

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family is almost being looked at as

like a, that's not right anymore.

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And I think that causes a lot of problems.

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And I don't remember, I may, I should

probably shouldn't even say it, but

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there was a Russian or German guy a long

time ago, sixties maybe, that talked if

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I was to tear down the United States.

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And he basically wrote the

playbook of how he would do it and

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it's all playing out right now.

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Josiah: Yep.

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Richie: And I don't remember names and

I don't remember exactly what he said.

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I just remember hearing it

one time and I was like, holy

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crap, that is wildly accurate.

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And so that tells me, are we.

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As a country, as a bigger whatever, are

we purposely trying to make everything

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decisive to start continually dividing

the people, you know, and so that

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everybody's fighting with everyone

and it, it's crazy to me that we've

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gotten this decisive with stuff.

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Yeah, you can't have a conversation if you

didn't vote for the same party anymore.

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Right.

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Jerremy: Yeah.

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Richie: and I still have buddies that

are clearly I'm on the right and I have

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buddies on the left, and I can still

have conversations with them, thankfully.

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But then I also have friends that I

have genuinely lost that we were very

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close, that I'm like you can't have

a conversation with 'em because the

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minute you say something different,

you're a racist, you're a bigot.

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You know, you don't care

about this group of people.

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You don't care about that group of

people, and I don't talk to 'em anymore.

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Jerremy: Yeah, and I think what

you mentioned Richie earlier was,

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is someone doing this on purpose?

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And I don't know if the answer to that

is yes, but what I can say is we do

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not truly have a lot of leadership that

does exactly what you mentioned, which

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is let's all have a communication.

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Right.

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Let's make and have some really

beautiful open dialogue also, because

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it's not really taught in school, right?

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You have one orator essentially that

presents on a topic, and this is

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truth and do not argue with me, right?

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I gave you your answers on your

quiz or your test, and this is

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the right way or the wrong way.

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And so we're judging a lot of people early

on by what they're doing or what they're

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not doing based on one person's opinion.

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And that kind of like trickles

down the entire system.

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Where again, right now, we all

know that we have President Trump,

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and we would all agree that he's

more divisive than not, right?

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He's not like, Hey, everyone

should be hanging out and talking

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and having a good time and we

should be growing together, right?

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He's not really that direction.

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Uh, he instantly blamed a certain

political group, uh, after Charlie

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Kirk's death, which I thought was, uh,

a misappropriation of time and space for

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what he could have done a lot better.

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But ultimately for me, one thing that

I definitely agree with all of you on,

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and I really have always is we do need

to have more ability of conversation

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from both sides so that we can learn and

people have to start practicing that.

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I mean, not only are we practicing

it right now, but what we're gonna

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continue to do is have conversations

with people that go, listen, let's

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agree to disagree, but let's also

find out where I might be incorrect.

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Where you might be incorrect.

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And let's see if there's any bridge

that can be formulated between the two

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so that we both can either merge to a

middle ground or we can at least agree

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with each other and still be friends,

still be good networks, still be good

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business partners, and start moving

on to something bigger and better

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and more prosperous for the nation.

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That's one thing that I really

feel like our leadership

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has done a very poor job of,

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Richie: And something to speak on that

I think part of that problem to why a

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lot of people can't have conversations

anymore is they are fed the information

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that their side is, whether it's right

or wrong, and that's what they believe.

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And it is so hard to find one

accountability to the truth, and you don't

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know what's real and what's not, because

there's so much information out there,

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there's so much disinformation out there.

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Sometimes it's real, sometimes it's not.

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Well, if you're on the side of

you believe the disinformation and

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you don't know any better because,

so you're gonna argue that point.

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And same on the other side.

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You may be on the side of the truth.

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You may not know it, it was just

the information you were given.

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And so there's so little accountability to

getting the actual information out there.

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Yeah.

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That is real.

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Using the Charlie Kirk, how

many conspiracies have come

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out since he's been killed?

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Jerremy: Already, like stuff,

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Richie: oh my gosh.

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Jerremy: familiar with.

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Richie: Yeah.

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Like my wife went down the

rabbit hole and I finally just

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had to tell her, please stop.

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I don't know what's real and what's

not, but I know this is ridiculous

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and we need better accountability.

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And I think that starts

with the media, honestly.

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Yeah.

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Uh, if you're gonna put something

out there and it's fake, there

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should be consequences for it.

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That's what I think.

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And call it free speech,

call it whatever you want.

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But at a certain point you're

just a propaganda tool.

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And that's part of the problem.

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Jerremy: Yeah.

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Well, this'll be, um, maybe an overarching

point that actually does circle back,

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Dave to a previous discussion that we had.

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You know, we gentlemen went in depth on

prison reform and we talked to judges,

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we talked to prison inmates, we talked

to police officers, we talked to ex felon

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or current felons that are out of prison.

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We had some really deep discussions

on it, and that was a word that was

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used relatively often accountability.

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And one of the groups of people that

aren't really held accountable, that does

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have a big trickle down effect is judges.

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Hmm.

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When a judge says, alright,

cool, you didn't kill somebody,

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and they actually did.

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Or because a judge can override a

jury, I'm sure you guys all know this.

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Mm-hmm.

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Right.

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Number one.

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But number two is like you guys

mentioned, someone having a rap

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sheet of 14, 15 arrests mm-hmm.

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And going on killing someone else.

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how come no one's being held

accountable to any of these standards?

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Back to the whole felon piece.

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Like, okay, you start getting too

many arrests and you're still getting

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a gun illegally and you get caught

and they go back on the streets a

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short period of time afterwards.

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So there is, I love the word

accountability and I do believe

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that there is a big metric of

that missing in this country.

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Accountability from a

lot of different sides.

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'Cause you're, you're both right.

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you have free speech and then you

have blatantly lying that conjures

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up fear that conjures up riots.

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Right?

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There are certain speeches and terms of

speech that cannot be used openly and

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publicly And, hate speech is one of them.

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Mm-hmm.

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I think the accountability piece

is missing and I don't know exactly

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where that stems from or exactly

what that ultimate fix looks like,

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but there's gonna be certain, pegs

in the circle board of this country

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that is missing accountability.

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And I think the more that we as a

nation just talk about that openly.

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And discuss that openly and have these

convictions where it's like, this is a

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real big problem and we have to start

actually addressing it and working

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on creating a good solution for it,

rather than just arguing about it.

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There are people that can start

making these really powerful choices

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that actually create not only

accountability, but true change as well.

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Mm-hmm.

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Alex: Media wedges neighbors apart

for profit — everyone sees it.

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Division pays too well.

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Jerremy flips though

to ten-second truths...

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why own, why carry, no filter.

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Solving America's Problems
Solving America’s Problems isn’t just a podcast—it’s a journey. Co-host Jerremy Newsome, a successful entrepreneur and educator, is pursuing his lifelong dream of running for president. Along the way, he and co-host Dave Conley bring together experts, advocates, and everyday Americans to explore the real, actionable solutions our country needs.

With dynamic formats—one-on-one interviews, panel discussions, and more—we cut through the noise of divisive rhetoric to uncover practical ideas that unite instead of divide. If you’re ready to think differently, act boldly, and join a movement for meaningful change, subscribe now.